One of the most common verses that you will hear me spout out at any given time (usually in comedic context), is Philippians 1:21 which says "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Often times I'll say it after getting "hurt" or after any inconveniences that happens (which usually involves me being clumsy). But as funny as it is the first few times, (though I never get sick of it), some people tend to get annoyed by my frequent use of it, and one very wise friend in particular had the audacity to call me out for it... which is something I will be forever grateful for.
When my friend asked me why I always use that verse, and what I think it means, I really had to think about it again, which was something I hadn't done in quite awhile. When I had explained to her what the verse meant to me, she graciously explained, not that I was wrong, but that I needed to be aware of the context of the verse, and why it says what it says.
You see, to me for the longest time, the verse meant that while I am alive, I will glorify, and live for Christ in all that I say, think, and do (even if being sinful, I often forget to do that). And to die is gain meant to me, that there is hope on the other side of eternity waiting for me, so I do not fear death (even if I might fear the pain of death). So no matter which side of the verse the focus is on, it is a win/win.
While I didn't have the interpretation totally wrong, my friend explained that when Paul wrote the verses, he genuinely couldn't decide which was better, to live, or to die. Paul knew that life meant serving Christ. In the following verses (22a, and 24) he writes, "If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me... But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account" But in verse 23 he states "I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and to be with Christ for that is far better."
Lately my life has been absolutely chaotic. Something is going wrong in every single aspect of it. An absolute rollercoaster has taken over me, and most days I have no idea what to do about it... however my favorite coping mechanism is avoidance/denial.
A week ago the thoughts came back that truly scare me. "I am alone" "No one would notice or care if i disappeared" "I'm such a failure" "I'll never catch up" "Why even bother" and worse. I was innocently sitting in my math class when this occurred, trying to be productive and do my work. These thoughts became crippling, and I didn't know what to do.
I knew that since it was Wednesday, I would be just distracted enough to try to forget all about them. I knew that I wouldn't have enough silence to bask in them until late at night, at which point I would deal with it then. However, at church, there was this annoying push that I should tell someone. This was then reiterated when whomever was talking mentioned the importance, and power of prayer. I figured God was encouraging me to reach out.
I opened up to a leader, and she said some things that ended up sticking with me that night. First off she asked me how I had been doing with reading my Bible recently (CALLED OUT). I definitely was not reading my Bible enough, or even praying enough for that matter... which ended up explaining a lot actually. She reminded me how important that is, that the word of God is living, and breathing.
After she prayed over me, and I left, I walked outside and looked up at the sky. I began to cry, absolutely overwhelmed. Immediately when I saw the stars my mind went straight to Psalm 8:3-4 which I had learned the previous summer at camp, and I looked it up as soon as I got in the car. When I pulled up to Culvers (which is where a lot of us go after youth group), I read through the verse again, this time outloud. Again, and again, and again. I read it in awe.
Verse 4 really got me. "What is man, that you are mindful of him, and the son of man, that you care for him?" The word of God is living, and breathing. Her words rang in my ears, and so did those verses.
At Culver's my mind still was echoing those verses. I tried to talk to a few people for a bit, though it wasn't for long, and I'm still new enough, that only a few people talk to me there, so I decided to go home early, and spend some time with God.
Still thinking about those verses, I decided to memorize Psalm 8. With each verse, my aching heart stilled. The first and last verses of the chapter are the same, "Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth" ... With the stilling of my heart, and the silence of the room (I was doing this all in the community room of my apartment, which at night everything echo's and the only things you hear are the cars occasionally passing by), and Psalm 46:10 was being whispered in my ear which says, "Be still, and know that I am God"
The feelings, and thoughts that I had were demanded out of my mind by the stillness of God that night. I craved more time in his presence focusing on his words some more. Reeling on the day I had, I thought of Philippians 1:21. I decided to memorize that chapter too, with the intent of memorizing the whole book, realizing that when I am focusing on the words of God, only then, can my mind be stilled.
The word of God is living and breathing.
"But what does all of this have to do with Living Joyfully?" Well if there's one thing I have definitely learned recently is that it is really hard to have joy, when you forget that you have hope.
"To live is Christ, and to die is gain" reminds us of hope in a few ways.
1. To live is Christ.
2. To die is gain.
Without hope, you cannot have joy. Joy is knowing that the Lord is greater over all. That means trusting that he is holding you, and me, and everything in his hands. That means having hope in the future, knowing that God is not going to let you go. Sure, things will seem bleak at times. We are going to struggle, never once in the Bible does it say being a Christian, or having hope, or joy, makes things easier... but it is promised to be better. John reminds us that we will have tribulation, but Christ has overcome the world. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians that whatever troubles we are facing are so minor compared to the beauty that is coming. That is how to live joyful.
This is hard though, trust me. So how can we realistically walk in joy during the times when it feels we have no hope? Well, to be completely honest, I don't know as I am still learning myself. But the thing is, it is a battle, but it isn't one we can fight alone. We need people fighting side by side with us, praying for us, and over us, and with us, and more importantly we need God.
The word of God is living, and breathing.
I tried. I tried to walk through my days facing it alone. I cut off relationships (not necessarily on purpose), I cried, I slept (a lot), I tried to simply make it through one day at a time. Then I asked for help. And that help pointed me to God. And that is where I remembered, that hope isn't something I have to earn. It is something that is always there, but only through the presence of God, with our eyes fixed up at him, can we truly remember not only what the hope is, but why we have it.
Each person's journey towards it will look different. I promise you, I am going to forget this many more times. I am going to have to continually fight for my joy, by reminding myself of my hope, and who is in control.
So, on the days when you can't seem to find your hope, seek the stillness of the one who will make the reason for your hope the loudest. I encourage you during those times of unrest, and anxieties, and despair, reflect upon Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God" as well as 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." and know that in this time where you cannot decide which is better: to live it out knowing that he is working all things together for good, and that your afflictions are temporary, or to go be home in the physical presence of the father. God cares about this internal battle you are fighting, and my friend, he is standing next to you fighting it too, giving you all you need to endure it.
My favorite part about joy is that it isn't meant for the moments when everything is going perfect. It isn't meant for the days where the world is sunny. It is however meant for the storm. Joy is meant for the moments when gray is the only color your eyes can see. Joy is to remind you of the hope that we have, not only in this life, but also, and especially in the next.
Happiness is passive, but joy needs to be aggressive. We need to actively seek out joy, and that means taking steps chasing after it. Joy is a choice we make to remind ourselves that God is in control.
"There's always a reason to always choose joy. There's something deeper that the world can't destroy. Smile when you think you can't. Smile, get up and dance. Smile, there's a bigger plan. The storm only lasts for awhile, so SMILE. " Smile by Sidewalk Prophets
We need to be doing whatever it takes on the dreary days to remind ourselves that the sunshine is hiding behind the clouds, and that clouds are a necessary part of life, leading to rain, and rain creates growth, and growth is when that sunshine finally comes back. We don't have to be happy when were soaking wet dodging the lightning, but we can be joyful knowing that sunshine is coming. But joy is active, and it's a choice, and sometimes we have to chase after it with all we have left, because it will be all we have to hold on to. So hold onto it tightly!
[How are you chasing after joy? ]
These past few days all I've had is my hope. My present feels kind of bleak, so I am clinging to the joy that I have knowing that this isn't permanent, and I am rejoicing in the hope that God is shaping my future. But it's an active chase. It's sitting in my commons in my apartment, lately late at night, talking to God... even arguing with him. Crying at 2am because I don't understand. Knowing that the only thing keeping me going right now, is this hope that I have not only in this life, but the next that is to come.
Y'all, I relate so hard with Paul lately. "For me to live in the flesh means fruitful labor. Yet which shall I choose, I cannot decide. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account" Whomever, and whatever God has for me I know it is worth it... but lately my heart is longing or my heavenly home, for that seems far better to me right now. Which means I need to continue actively seeking after the joy of the lord, and the hope that only he can provide.
I encourage you, if you are in a season of clouds, and even if you are shining bright (which I am so very proud of you! Keep it up!) to go, be like me, and maybe look a little insane like you are talking to a wall, and go tell God why you feel as though you can no longer go on, and why life lately feels so hopeless. And then take action! Devote yourself to spending time with God, whether that means memorizing verses for a little bit, or talking to him for awhile, even yelling because you're hurt by the things that are going on in your life, and you don't understand how a good God could let this happen.
Go, seek joy, and while you're at it take heart, or have hope, for he has overcome the world! And never forget that, to live is christ, and to die is gain... God is NOT done with you yet!
-Truthie M.